You Can't Control Everything
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My husband hates for me to have any outside activities. I feel smothered here.
Let her? That may seem laughable in this age of independent wives, but it's just as accurate now as it was when that woman wrote to me. "He won't let me," actually means. "If I protest or go ahead without his okay, it means a mad husband." It can work both ways, like when a man came up to me after one of the marriage seminars George and I were giving. He said, "My wife won't let me go fishing." Let him? I had to contain myself so I wouldn't laugh because of the mental picture that came to me.
The one who is on the receiving end of displeasure either fades into the shadows in time, somewhat like the representation of depressed people on TV ads, or they ultimately run from their pain and walk out.
Can such a cowed person's marriage be saved? Of course. We demonstrate how in our material for men and material for women.
Most men who drag their feet on this issue are afraid that their wives will neglect their homes; get too independent, grow away from them; or will make them feel inadequate. As soon as women are reluctant to let their husbands be independent about anything, it's generally because they want to be in charge of them, which may come from a fear of losing him if he gets out of sight.
If your spouse has this trouble and you can't stand up for your own rights, perhaps you can find another healthy outlet that is non-threatening.. On the internet, for example. I'm not talking about getting swallowed up in social or dating sites, or writing emails to your high school "sweetheart." That could result in your destroying rather than saving yourself or your marriage. Nor am I suggesting spending hours on end sending nonstop emails to people you know..
Whether online or off, think constructively about the situation. Take an aptitude test to see where your strengths lie. Then, if you go online, look for sites or college courses that can instruct you further in those areas. As you become more proficient in one of them, you can share some of your information with your honey (cautiously - little by little at first), and ask for advice (if you take it, make sure he/she knows you did). That way your sweetheart will feel part of it and perhaps appreciate it.
Or think outside the box in your home. One lady we knew, Jane, wrote to missionaries - on a frequent basis. Missionaries who live far from home in another culture, who save lives but are often in danger of losing their own, welcome friendly, happy letters from anybody. That's the reality
Many of those missionaries made a special effort to find Jane, when they came home on a year's furlough, to thank her and tell her how her letters kept them from becoming disheartened. At times she sent my books to them and marriages were saved as a result. And what better way to support our servicemen who suffer as much as he did for our freedom and are under-appreciated by countless than by sending them mail?
There are other ways to use your abilities. On the bed in our guest room is a gorgeous afghan that Trudy Creutzberg built for me and I treasure it. Trudy is Julie's (Vance's wife) mother. She was and is a work only at home wife by her own choice. She makes beautiful things - mostly to give away.
One man we know built birdhouses, a gazebo and other items that enhanced their backyard. As you begin to build up your giftedness be sure, Wife, that your house is neat and clean and you serve your husband delicious meals. Be sure, Husband, that you are creatively romantic with your wife. Nurture your darling while you nurture you. In time, when your spouse realizes that you aren't doing anything threatening, he/she most likely will mellow.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
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