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Believe It Or Not - Friendship With An Ex Is Possible!


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If you breakup with her, can you then be friends with your ex? It's one of the most common questions in a breakup, and the answer is often, but not always, yes. Reconciliation will be easier if you're friends, but that can't be the goal of becoming friends after a breakup. So how can one be "just friends" with an ex after a breakup? Follow these five tips to get the ball rolling.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip #1: You must start putting your lives together as single people, and that includes forgiving each other. If you can't forgive her, and you're harboring a grudge against her for the breakup, give up any hopes either of reconciling or even being "just friends." Put the past behind you - and you can't do that if you try to keep talking about it. Concentrate on the future and leave the past where it belongs - in the past. What good can come of bringing up the past?

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#2: There's no more romance - that's a fact. You've got to accept it. The relationship is over and she's no longer your girlfriend. You've simply got to accept that fact. You've got to let the relationship go completely and accept the fact that the most you can be with her is "just friends." The true reason most guys try to be "just friends" after a breakup is that they want to resurrect the relationship sooner or later. You have to drop any pretense of a romantic relationship is you're going to make a friendly relationship work, and by all means, don't get jealous when you see her with another man! She'd probably act maturely if you had a new girlfriend, so take your cue from her.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip# 3: Relax and let time go by. Time is a great healer. Now this is a critical point: if she doesn't want to be friends, you must honor your ex's wishes. Remember that she's hurting too. There's a good chance she'll change her mind after she's gotten over some of her pain. Considering the pain you're both enduring, a friendship with your ex immediately after a breakup is pretty far-fetched anyway. Remember this: if you're still hurting, you shouldn't try to start up a friendship with her.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#4: Don't try to communicate with her all the time. "Just friends" don't call and text each other all the time. A relationship of "just friends" means that you give each other plenty of breathing room. You've got to trust me on this - if you try to contact her frequently, you'll only wind up pushing her away. So don't overdo it. Call her every now and then, and text her, but overall, keep your distance.

Being Friends With an Ex Tip#5: Finally, if you want to be her friend, treat her like one. Unless you regularly give your other friends gifts and flowers and candy, don't give them to her. If you want a platonic relationship with her, treat her the same way you do other women with whom you have platonic relationships. Be sure that you act completely normal around her, without any sort of ulterior motive, so that you don't end up having an uncomfortable and strained relationship.

Trying to establish a friendship with her for the purpose of getting back together as a couple, though, is an extremely bad idea, and might result in failure in both. If a strong friendship results, great! When you first met her, she had qualities that made you want to get to know her better. Those qualities are still there. At the same time, if you can't become "just good friends," then you should move on with your life. You know that you're capable of living without her in your life.
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