My Son Is Terribly Shy, What Can I Do To Help Him?
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Q. "How can I help my 7 year old son? He is so shy that he hardly talks to anyone other than family members".
A. Some children are naturally slower than others to warm to people. Still, they can usually learn to overcome their fears and become less anxious. You have to take one step at a time, starting from where they are, and building on each success.
First, help him to find activities that he likes and is successful with. The more times he can experience being good at something, the more confident he will become. He will also have the added advantage of having more to talk about. The more people involved, the better. Don't pressure him too hard to do things he's resisting, but don't make it too easy for him to opt out. Sometimes kids balk at doing something even when they know inside that they'll have fun.
Set up some social activities for him that will also turn out to be learning experiences. Start with something easy and work up from there. An example might be a movie "date" with a friend. They can have fun sharing a common experience, yet don't even have to talk.
Structure some activities for him that involve a few other people. Each time he gains a little confidence, plan another that is slightly more difficult. Plan these events knowing that he will do well, and then stop while it's still fun. This will make everyone want to do it again.
Make the social situations revolve around things he likes to do. For example if he enjoys computer games, invite a friend over. Start with one and the next time invite two or three. The kids will like talking about and playing the games together.
If you visit adults, you can start the ball rolling by talking about his latest computer game. Let him correct you, or maybe supply some details of a particular level. You might cue the adults ahead of time as to things to ask him.
If he won't respond, don't make excuses for him and never force him to talk. Let him talk, or not talk, as he chooses, and then live with the consequences of his choice. However, you will have more success in getting him to talk if you draw him into conversations with open ended questions such as "How did Mario get lost in the Mansion in the first place?". Avoid putting him on the spot with closed questions that demand a one word answer, or that are about subjects he dislikes or finds difficult.
Over time your son will feel more comfortable being around people and talking with them. He will slowly feel stronger when talking about things he doesn't know a lot about. If you can help make talking fun, then he'll do more of it. On the flip side, he'll talk less if it's hard or embarrassing.
Don't reinforce his vision of himself as "shy". If you call him that, he won't believe he can change. It could become an excuse used to get out of interacting with others. Build on his positive attributes by reminding him that he is kind, gentle, polite, and so on.
Just remain positive and affirming and he should be fine.
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
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