The 'away' Perspective: Persuasion Continuum Of Towards And Away
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When I teach my students about the towards and away continuum, I get asked the following question a lot: Isn't an 'away' person just a really negative personality type? I want to start out by saying, no, not necessarily. I won't deny the fact that there are truly negative people out there, but a person who is inclined to move away from a problem as opposed to running towards an outcome, is not fundamentally negative.
We've been taught from a very early age that 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' I am not on board with this cliche. It's dishonest. Putting a happy face on everything is impossible. Even if you 'turn lemons into lemonade' there is value in indulging in life's ups and downs. When you allow yourself to experience (not wallow in) life's lows, you will feel the highs even more intensely.
With that said, it's hard to be around people who complain incessantly. Viewing the world through the lens of misery and inconvenience is dreadful to be around. I believe if you're around that kind of personality for long stretches of time or consistently, your energy will be depleted as a result.
I am of the opinion that I'd rather have people be honest and accurate, and whether it is positive or negative is beside the point.
Okay, so back to the 'towards and away' continuum. Like all continuums this is context specific meaning that where someone may be tremendously 'away' when it comes to health (maybe because they've had a scare and are trying to get away from having another brush with early death), they may be very towards when it comes to security or wealth.
To determine towards and away, we need to elicit our client's criteria. And say it turns out to be financial security. The big question is: Ultimately, what will having financial security do for you?
Now, security is a value that can be either towards or away, so you've got to listen very closely to the answer to this question to determine their direction.
If they say, 'Having financial security will mean I'm safe. I won't have to worry anymore about the stock market or how I'm going to retire. . .'
Is this person moving towards a solution or away from a problem?
This is definitely an away from answer.
I call the technique which is most effective with away from people 'backing the ambulance up to the door'. In this approach you are poking at wounds, really helping them wallow in their fear and then marrying your product or service with the path to financial security.
An appropriate away from response would be, 'You bet. Exactly. It's absolutely understandable that you'd feel terrified. The market is a dangerous place right now. People are going to lose fortunes. Having no alternate plan, no parachute, is going to ruin many lives. My clients, however, have moved beyond that fear as they work with me, and are, as a result, safe and secure.'
Determination of towards/away enriches rapport immeasurably. Forcing an away from oriented person to see the silver lining or look through rose colored glasses will put them off and make persuasion very difficult. Just go along with them and bask in the fear and horror that you can eventually relieve them of.
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